Gridiron

President Coolidge, Senator James A. Reed of Missouri, Democratic firebrand, Senator William E. Borah of Idaho, Republican man-of-all-words, spoke in the same room in Washington, D. C., one night last week. Some 150 newsmen heard them. Yet not a word of what they said appeared in the public prints. It was the annual winter dinner of the Gridiron Club; at such a function the club beards itself with the phrase, "reporters are never present."

Members of the Gridiron Club are, nonetheless, reporters. They entertain their distinguished dinner guests (politicians, diplomats, businessmen) with horseplay.

Last week, the horseplay had chiefly to do with the late election. There was a parody of Herbert Hoover's campaign eulogy of the U. S. home: 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was sleeping, not even a

mouse.

The glasses were set on the mantel with

care

In hopes that the bootlegger soon would

be there.

The children were dancing to KDKA

For six brand new tubes had been purchased that day,

And mamma with her diamonds and I with

two trumps,

Were winning a hand from a couple of

chumps. . . .

I'm sure you'll agree there's no need for

Saint Nick,

With a person named Hoover to do us the

trick.

But I hear him exclaim ere he drove out

of sight

"Happy hokum to all--and to all a good

night!"

There was a definition: "A Nordic is a Southern Democrat who takes a good stiff shot of 100 per cent American corn--and then votes for Hoover."

There was a comparison: "Grant was more magnanimous than Mr. Hoover. He left us [Southerners] our horses; Hoover took our shirts."