Stresemann Tucked In

The interest of Germans in last week's general election (see above) was scarcely keener than their anxious curiosity about the functions of the two kidneys of Foreign Minister Dr. Gustav Stresemann, now generally considered the ablest statesman of Republican Germany.

During the week Dr. Stresemann was sick nigh unto Death. Therefore, in the minds of his countrymen, it was by no means disrespectful but instead highly laudable to discuss minutely the state of those organs which caused the trouble. The three physicians attending Dr. Stresemann responded to public demand with copious bulletins as exciting to some readers as the minutes of a horse race. Omitting technicalities, the kidney bulletins were:

One not functioning, other sluggish.

Sluggish kidney thought poisoned by bad meat.

Poison theory exploded but kidneys still inflamed.

Both kidneys resume functioning.

Specialists announce "fear of relapse is over" and review in detail stomach, heart and "paratyphoid influenza" symptoms, which had contributed to the disorder.

Throughout the crisis, Dr. Stresemann displayed great courage despite extreme pain, cracked occasional jokes with his physicians.

On election day, last week, patient Gustav Stresemann protested that he felt well enough to go out and vote; but doctors, nurses and Frau Stresemann only tucked him in the closer.