Little's Wit

When President Clarence Cook Little of the University of Michigan prohibited undergraduates from operating automobiles about the campus, he was twitted for being unreasonably paternalistic. Whereupon, he issued a proper reply to the twitters:

"Insofar as this office is concerned, no restrictions or rules not now in operation are planned for:

"1) Canoeing, rowing, sailing, drifting, swimming or sinking.

"2) Hours of rising, eating, tooth-brushing, getting to bed, or turning out lights.

"3) Types of clothing (even to the extent of knickers half way to the ankles and red neckties).

"4) Bridge, checkers, croquet, knitting, or other boisterous sports.

"Of course, student ingenuity might devise circumstances under which any or all of these actions might be unwisely combined or misused.

"For example, a man in red flannels might try while brushing his teeth to paddle, with a croquet mallet, a canoe down the diagonal walk at noon. Such behavior, if it became customary, might need very mild and gentle restriction."