Had they been interviewed, some people who figured in last week's news might have related certain of their doings as follows:

Max D. Steuer, New York trial lawyer: "Last week newsgatherers asked me what remedy I had for what I called the 'failure of justice in this city.' To them I replied that I would let the Appellate division of the Supreme Court appoint able lawyers to act as judges for 30 to 60 days. This would speed up the courts, remove many thousand undecided cases from overcrowded dockets."

William Lyon Phelps, Professor of Literature at Yale University: "Sinclair Lewis was once a student of mine, but I care little for his latest opus. Last week I said of it: 'There never was a minister like Elmer Gantry. . . . My grandfather and father were Baptist ministers. All my living brothers are Baptist ministers and there has been a constant stream of Baptist ministers walking through my house for years.... I have never known one like Elmer Gantry. It [the book] was obviously written by Sinclair Lewis when he was in a rage. The author was literally foaming at the mouth.' "

Senator Frank L. Greene of Vermont: "As I was walking with my wife on Pennsylvania Ave., Washington, on Feb. 15, 1924, a Prohibition agent shot me in the forehead. He was aiming at a fleeing bootlegger. For weeks I lay in bed, half-dead, half-alive. Finally I recovered, except for a partial paralysis which makes me limp. At the time of my accident, on motion of the late Senator Henry Cabot Lodge, Congress voted me $7,500 for medical expenses. Last week it became known that I had returned the $7,500 to the Government. Said I: 'It would be improper for taxpayers to bear the expense of my personal misfortune.'

Dr. Serge Voronoff, gland specialist: "Last week I prophesied in Paris 'Monkeys will talk and men will live to be 125 years old.' I went on to relate that I have grafted glands on 1,000 human beings. I have grafted glands on sheep so successfully that their wool yield has been largely increased, 16 pounds added to their weight and their lives prolonged six years. Now I have a monkey farm at Mentone on the French Riviera where I am raising monkeys to supply the tremendous number of monkey-glands that the world will soon demand. I use three types of glands: the thyroid, to stimulate the brain; the suprarenal, to stimulate the heart; and the testicular, to animate the entire physical structure."

Charles Michael Schwab, Bethlehem Steel: "On my return to Manhattan last week with Dr. Samuel Alburtus Brown, Dean of New York University Medical School, who has accompanied me on my European vacations the past 25 years, I remarked: 'I have to take things slower now than I did a few years ago. I don't smoke and I take one drink a day under doctors' orders.' "

Col. Henry H. Rogers, Manhattan sportsman-oilman, father of famed Millicent Rogers, Countess Salm von Hoogstraten: "Word came in from Long Island that a shipbuilder at Greenport is building me an all-electric yacht, 62 ft. long with a 14-ft. beam, which I will christen Fan Keva. She will have three 175-h.p. electric motors, electric piano, electric winches, galley, siren."

Enoch Arnold Bennett, novelist: "Last week I published some paragraphs in the London Evening Standard. 'I am willing,' I wrote, 'to concede arguments to the effect that Einstein is endowed with a more prodigious intellect than any in the history of the race, that Shakespeare stands alone and that Abraham Lincoln stands alone, but I implacably affirm that a greater novel than The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoievsky has yet to be written.' I then rounded out the dozen greatest-in-my-opinion novels of all time. They included, in order, three more by Dostoievsky, three by Tolstoy, four by Turgeniev, one by Gogol--all Russians. 'Would you dare,' I asked, 'oust any of them in favor of Dickens?' "

Otto Hermann Kahn, Manhattan financier-art-patron: "Word came-from London that I had chartered the Duke of Westminster's yacht, Flying Cloud, a sailing ship with auxiliary engines, for a cruise from Sicily in April, to Athens, the Greek islands and Venice, with guests: Novelists (Enoch) Arnold Bennett and David Gray, Editor Frank Crowninshield of Vanity Fair and Artist Paul Dougherty."

E. M. Statler, hotel operator: "My son Milton likes jazz and he can play the traps. Last week he proposed to me that I let his friend, young Roger Wolff Kahn, furnish dance music for all my hotels for about $1,000,000 a year. I said that I approved his idea, but I told him that I would have to talk it over first with Roger's father, Otto Hermann Kahn."

Senator William Henry King of Utah: "My son Paul is an intrepid flyer. Last week as he piloted his plane, a Department of Commerce type, over Boiling Field on his way to Dayton, Ohio, he decided to land. The right wing caught in the grass and spun the plane around; out of the wreckage they dug my son Paul, unhurt."

Zane Grey, author: "My son is only 16 but he is as fine a fisherman as I. Last week as we cruised the South Sea Islands in my yacht Fisherman, he hooked a 640-pound thresher shark.* After a 17-hour battle the fish was landed; it is said to be the largest of its kind ever caught."

President Carl Raymond Gray of the Union Pacific R. R.: "Officials of my company expressed no surprise upon hearing that Mrs. W. D. Cornish of Manhattan, 80-year-old widow of one of our vice presidents and since his death an indefatigable traveler, had arrived safely at Johannesburg, South Africa, after a 4,000-mile motor trip from the Mediterranean shore of the continent, through the interior, accompanied by no white escort save her cousin, a Miss Hooper. Despatches related how, camping one night near a native road gang, Mrs. Cornish heard a man-eating lion roar, then die of bullets; how, lost in wildest Ukamba, her reserve machine broke down, obliging her to sit up amidst zebras, gazelles, hyenas until midnight, when rescuers came. Mrs. Cornish traveled unarmed."

Lieutenant Colonel Theodore Roosevelt: "People discovered last week that the Government awarded the Distinguished Service Medal to me 'after consistent gallantry, conspicuous energy and marked efficiency during the World War. I have known about the award lor five years, but I asked the War Department not to confer the medal upon me while I was Assistant Secretary of the Navy."

President Haley Fiske of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Co.: "I said: 'Simply great!' to describe my sensations upon finding my Manhattan home and office filled with flowers and presents for my 75th birthday, last week. Five minutes after I reached my desk (at 9:45 as usual), my secretary produced many a telegram. My reading of them was interrupted by the arrival of more flowers, which I sniffed appreciatively. Soon a delegation of our office managers trooped in, bringing me a pigskin suitcase. I thanked them and tried to resume my morning's work, when in came Otto, company chef, in spotless white. He wished me fortune. Other employes streamed in during the morning. Finally, just before I went home to celebrate with my wife, six children and seven grandchildren, who awaited me on Park Avenue, there came a message from my father, William H. Fiske, who has lived-- most appropriately, some think, for the father of a life insurance man--to the age of 107."

*The thresher shark gets his name from his great tail with which he threshes the water to round up the fish on which he lives. Also called fox shark.