Having perused well the chronicle of the week, the Vigilant Patriot views with alarm:

A one-horse rodeo of phony riffraff. (P. 11, col. 2.)

19 Governors who declined. (P. 1, col. 1.)

Swamp scenes with crickets. (P. 12, col. 3.)

A gurgitated prophet going to Nineveh. (P. 11, col. 2.)

White House leaks. (P. 1, col. 2.)

The mine named after Baron von und zum Stein. (P. 7, col. 3.)

A scrambled diurnal. (P. 19, col. 3.)

A Greek scholar sent from the room. (P. 17, col. 3.)

40 suicides per month. (P. 8, col. 3.)

A bullethead from Yali. (P. 15, col. 3.)

Gaudy post boxes. (P. 10, col. 3.)