An Outing

At Norwalk, Conn., the New York Grandmothers' Club reported for their annual outing. Thirty-five members ran races, went swimming, played baseball. The youngest was 43, the oldest 71. The oldest "figured in the ball game while some of the younger members knitted." Three grandmothers were also great-grandmothers.

Drastic

In Manhattan, an Italian's back itched. He asked his wife to scratch it. She refused. He dragged her to the kitchen, slashed her jugular vein with a bread knife, sat eating breakfast at a table when policemen arrived.

"Bills"

At Boston, 40,000 Elks,-accompanied by 40,000 Elk-wives and Elk-children, stampeded the city, spent six days of backslapping, beach-picnicking, speechmaking, parading, cheering, singing at their 60th Convention.

The seventh day, the "Bills"/- clogged the streets with a three-hour, 40-band march, disguised as cowpunchers, Zouaves, mummers, Turks, huntsmen, sailors, golfers, "Purple Devils," mounted police, hussars, Pilgrims. Purple, the Order's official hue, rioted everywhere. Prizes were given for floats, marching, mileage, drilling.

Two business meetings were held by the Grand Lodge members. John G. Price, of Columbus, O., was singled out and installed to succeed James G. McFarland, of Watertown, S. D., as Grand Exalted Ruler. John was described: "a self-made American . . . formerly a letter-carrier in Canton, O., the home of President McKinley. . . . He counted the late 'Chief Executive among his friends. When Mr. McKinley went to the White House he made a place for Mr. Price in the Post Office Department. While filling this position (a minor one) Mr. Price studied law at Georgetown University, and later took up the practice of his profession in his native state." He has just completed his second full term as Attorney General for Ohio.

Famed Elks present: Timothy McCarthy, 'Charles Grakelow, George Dunham, Daniel Kane, Rev. John Dysart, John Knapp, John O'Brien, Captain Albert Sampson, aged 93 (oldest Elk), tiny spotted calf from Norumbega Park Zoo (youngest Elk).

Famed Elks absent: Nicholas Murray Butler, Alfred E. Smith, Royal S. Copeland, George Gordon Battle, John J. Pershing, John K. Tener.

Elkdom's origin dates from one November night In 1867, when an English comic singer landed in Manhattan, strolled down Lispenard Street, dropped into a "Free and Easy," sang songs for his supper, made friends. The friends threw dice for their drink but the Cockney showed them a better game: dropping corks on the bar and picking them up, the last man to recover his cork standing treat.

The cork game "took"; a company of cork-droppers formed. In 1868 the Cockney, Charles A. Vivian, presided over a meeting of "The Jolly 'Corks," now determined to organize a benevolent and protective society. What to call it ? Vivian remembered in England "The Royal Antediluvian Order of Buffalos," but his comrades favored "Elks" when they discovered that animal described as "fleet of foot, timorous of wrong, but ever ready to combat in defense of self or the female."

Soon after, Vivian was elected first President of B. P. O. E., the first Lodge having 15 members, mostly actors and semiprofessional entertainers.

Today Elkdom enumerates 1,476 Lodges, a membership of 839,422, assets of $75,649,618.42. Last year Elks expended $2,432,641.50 in charity. Aged and indigent Elks may take refuge at the Elk home, Bedford, Va. Say all Elks: "An Elk is never forgotten, never forsaken."

Mistaken Identity

In Brooklyn, one Lawrence Esposito, 130 pounds, awoke in the night hearing some one in his room. He leaped from his bed, scratching, kicking, beating, flooring the intruder. He then discovered his antagonist was 380-pound Mrs. Esposito.

"No Gentleman"

In Manhattan, William McNelson walked with a young lady, passed his friend, William Dean, observed that Dean did not raise his hat to the young lady, stabbed Dean "for being no gentleman."

*Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks. /- Elk salute: "Hello, Bill ! Are you an Elk?"