Man in Zoo*

Meaningless, Mr. Garnet's Book Delights

The Story. In the course of an animated lovers' quarrel, Josephine Lackett and John Cromartie wander into the Ape-House in the Royal Zoological Society's Gardens, where the Chimpanzee, the Orang-outang and the Gibbon gaze interestedly out on them. Josephine, particularly outraged at some one of John's masculine inconsistencies, exclaims wrathfully: "You're Tarzan of the Apes. You ought to be shut up in the Zoo. Science would gain a lot!"

"Well, I will be. I'm sure you're quite right. I'll make arrangements to be exhibited." And he does, forthwith. He writes a letter to the Directors assuring them solemnly that while they have, on the whole, a most excellent collection, there is one mammalian of real importance unrepresented. To remedy the deficiency, he respectfully submits himself for exhibition as a specimen of Homo Sapiens.

This generous offer causes dissension among the working Committee. So, largely to irritate their recalcitrant member, the unpopular and elderly Mr. Wollop, the Committee accepts, Mr. Wollop retires in high dudgeon to Wollop Bottom, his rustic seat, and John is accordingly appointed to the Ape-House. The Gibbon is removed to make room for him, and his cage, between the Orang and the Chimpanzee, is fitted out with table, bookcase and wicker chairs so that the new specimen may be shown, as far as possible, in its native habitat.

He makes only a few reasonable stipulations, as that he be allowed to order his own meals, be visited by his own tailor and legal advisers. The Society, on its side, stipulates that he is not to contribute to the Press, and is to be subject to the usual discipline, as though he were one of the ordinary creatures.

He moves in--and needless to say becomes the sensation of London. Debates about him rage in every club and smoking-compartment and it requires four policemen to keep the crowd moving as they file past his cage. Sermons are preached about him, a question is even asked about him on the floor of the House of Commons. And when that happens, as everybody knows, all England falls flat upon its face. The Orang and the Chimpanzee are frightfully jealous and glare wrathfully at him through the bars.

He adopts an aloof, preoccupied, gentlemanly manner, as suitable to his station, and spends his time reading or writing or pacing thoughtfully up and down his cage, not noticing his visitors. In time, the four policemen may safely be reduced to two, and ultimately to one--public curiosity never centres for an undue length of time upon any one subject. Some slight difficulties he has with his keeper, Collins, who is in the beginning not quite cordial. For one thing, his coming had ousted the Gibbon and there is no hiding the fact that Collins would prefer to have the Gibbon back in Mr. Cromartie's place. It had given him less work, and besides, it had never been, at any time in its life, his social superior.

All this time, of course, Mr. Cromartie is torn with anxiety as to whether or not Josephine will come to view him. He resolves that he will not look at her if she does. He resolves he will look at her--just one lofty glance of proud contempt, as if to say: "Well, I've kept my word." He hopes she will repent and weep for her heartlessness. He hopes she will not repent.

Josephine, of course, comes. In characteristic feminine fashion, now that he has done what she told him to, she is outraged at him for doing it. She stands outside his cage and tells him he must be mad, he has disgraced her; then she melts, says it was all her fault, and she loves him anyway. The upshot of it is that she vows she will marry him, come to live in the cage with him. But the authorities, it appears, have already decided that in the contingency of his marrying, he will automatically be freed from his contract. So the doors of his cage are unlocked and the lovers walk out together. It is to be assumed that Keeper Collins gets his Gibbon back safely and that peace reigns once more over the Ape-House.

The Significance. The only significance is: you will absolutely spoil this delightful bit of whimsy if you go looking for any. It is told with all the round-eyed solemnity of a child's tale, and it was never meant to be analyzed or explained. Where the substance of the same author's Lady into Fox (TIME, Apr. 14, 1923) was fantasy, this is satire, deft and charming. Only, if you make the fatal mistake of trying to find out what it means, you will prick the bubble. For it means nothing at all and is a delight for just that reason.

The Author. David Garnett, born 1893, first studied Science, spent five years in the Botanical Laboratories at South Kensington, then turned to writing, opened a bookshop. His book Lady into Fox won the Hawthornden Prize for the finest imaginative work of the past year. Married, he has one child.

New Book

The following estimates of books much in the public eye were made after careful consideration of the trend of critical opinion:

VOGUE'S BOOK OF ETIQUETTE--by the Editors of Vogue--Conde Nast ($4.00). No doubt we have improved somewhat since the days back in the fabulous forties when manuals on correct behavior advised their readers in all seriousness to "omit the annoying foreign) fashion of taking water into your mouth [when finger bowls were passed], rinsing and gargling it around, and them spitting it back into the glass"; and, ire another place: "The rising generation of elegants in America are particularly requested to observe that, in polished! society, it is not quite comme il faut for gentlemen to blow their noses with their fingers, especially when in the street-- a practise infinitely more common than refined."

Yes, it could in all humility be said that we have improved, on the whole. Nevertheless, the "What's-Wrong-With-This-Picture" artists are still lustily at it, and this latest contestant gallops into the field with a new and complete assortment of What to do and When to do it, What and how to eat and What to wear while eating it--and all the other social amenities from the cradle to the grave.

*A MAN IN THE Zoo--David Garnett-- Knopf ($1.75).